I tried to stay thankful for all my blessings but yet my mind kept trailing off to a place of feeling great sadness. Like something was very wrong.
I thought that maybe it was from my daughter not being home for this holiday but no, that wasn't it. Being separated from her wasn't the internal ache I felt because I knew she was safe and enjoying her time with her cousins.
This feeling of hovered darkness and deep depression are not new to me but I've gotten to a point in my life that I can, usually, pinpoint where it originated from and am able to combat it. Hard but able to be done with great focus.
However, no matter how hard I tried, this time I didn't know where the darkness was coming from so I went into prayer and asked for direction in what way to fight off this ache that wouldn't go away.
This is the image I got while praying. These children separated from their parents. Not at all enjoying this holiday of freedom.
|I wonder how they celebrated their 4th of July in a country considered "The land of the free"??|
However, with all the "fake news" circulating I had to make sure that it was real and current.
It was indeed real, current and, unquestionably, on American soil.
Sadly, it's been going on for many years and has only gotten worse with this new administration.
Like most child advocates I became irate as a pain for these kids shot through my body. With every image I saw and report I read I got angrier.
Even after reading both sides of the political spectrum, I didn't care. I didn't want a reasonable explanation or excuses, I wanted these children set free from these cages and back with their parents. I didn't care if they broke the law. To me, they are innocent children seeking safety who are now sitting in prison like settings. It's disgusting.
In my zealous pursuit to link up again with local advocacy groups pursuing justice on their behalf, I felt a "check" in my spirit. I knew it was the Lord trying to reveal something to me.
Honestly, I hate these times with Him but I was willing to be still and listen.
He reminded me that there is a God that made these children in His image for a purpose and that what I was seeking to do would contribute to the noise and calamity of this current culture and would only be exactly that -- CALAMITOUS NOISE.
A resounding gong absent of His presence.
He then reminded me of His story that I have been entrusted to hold and share. He reiterated to me that there is a more proactive way to advocate for them that would not demolish my faith to a mere title of "Christianity". His "better" way.
|His will has to be my focus. No matter how I feel.|
Now, mind you, I'm not trying to make this a political post but just wanting to share the ache that sits in my chest as I tried to pray for understanding of how to get involved because I can't ignore what I now know is happening with these kids. And as someone who personally knows the ache of an abrupt separation from the only parent I knew, I can't walk away.
I have been lax in my blogging because I'm exhausted from sharing my testimony.
Every story I share is always shared with a great amount fear. Not one of people judging me but of the memories that I have to open up in order to tell it. It's painful. I keep it hidden to save myself from myself.
The dreams (more like nightmares) and memories I have before, during and shortly after scare me. Sometimes I feel like I'll never survive them.
But, as I write this, I know this to be a lie from the devil himself because God always steps in when I cry out to Him to shine His light on that memory and show me the good He intends for it. And He always does. ALWAYS!!
So instead of standing with a crowd picketing outside some government office or feeding my anger amongst other angry advocates, I found myself writing to my representatives and humbly pleading for mercy.
I added a portion of my testimony to hopefully help them see that what I'm asking isn't to break the law but to show mercy for the children and the trauma that they will incur during this process.
All humans will go through something traumatic at some point in their lives but, by the mercy of God, we are not consumed by it if given hope.
That hope... I have only found in Jesus Christ. He is FREEDOM.
|I sent this letter out to my representatives. Whether they read it or not is up to God. I'm doing my part and will continue. My focus was to advocate for the safety and sanity of the children. Not asking to break the law.|
Christian leaders must serve with a bend towards the same mercy they have been given by Jesus Christ.
No matter what a child goes through they need a sense of hope towards a better life. They'll remember it as adults because the "bend" of mercy Christ following leaders extend will point them towards the God that loves them and the Savior who came to extend to them the ETERNAL FREEDOM they are really looking for.
Never again will they need to search for freedom because Jesus Christ is it. He is what "FREEDOM" looks like.
In my next blog post I will share the good that God has revealed to me about the trauma I experienced as a separated child and how He was able to make it something beautiful and glorifying for His kingdom. But for now... I will rest and enjoy the freedom of what He has extended to me.