Tuesday, March 8, 2016

My BIGGEST lesson as a Carsonite

What a journey it has been to be a Carsonite (a.k.a. Ben Carson) campaign supporter. Now that his run is over I've had a chance to sit back and really think about what I've learned along the way. After all, I have never been in contact with so many churched people outside of a church wall.

I have never openly supported any presidential candidate. Ever.
Especially, someone running on a Republican ticket. I share a lot of my views with the Democratic party. But when God speaks to me, sometimes it's in a still small voice that doesn't let you sleep a wink.
I will have to say that in the beginning I was trying to figure out why God would have me walk this journey and man, am I glad that I finally said "yes".

I have known that for the past couple years God was trying to teach me more about His people and where I fit in. Well, (being the smart arse that I am) I complained to Him that He was asking me to support someone that had no political background and whether or not He was aware of that.
I mean every Christian I spoke to said that I was making a mistake and that I am wasting my time. BUT... my reply was simply, "if God tells me to hold him up and be still then I guess I am going to hold him up and be still."

Then I would get the pitiful, confused look of -- well, you're young and dumb. Good luck.


Well, I didn't need luck because God was trying to show me why He had me raised the way He did. He was staying honest to His promise to me. A promise that has always been the driving force of my obedience. Another clue of His purpose for me.

It all started after July 4th, 2015. I couldn't sleep a wink...
One of the BIGGEST issues I had with God was that I was stolen during a visitation that led to me being raised by a man who stripped me of my culture and the only language I spoke. Then I was forced to call him dad and live as a new and completely different girl, in a new and completely different culture. I, eventually, adjusted to my new person and America.

As a young girl I was heavily influenced by my new dad's views on politics and religion (or lack thereof since he claimed atheism) because I really wanted him to accept me. He loved America, guns, beer, women, movies, political news, and the power of "white". He was a proud vet that survived with several wounds and earned several medals to prove his service. He was adament that his kids take a daily vitamin and he advocated for us to break our bedtime schedule to stay up and watch the Simpsons. He loved to laugh.
He died in June of 2015. His death shook me. 

We had not spoken in 18 years and although he was my step-dad, he was the only dad I knew. I met him at about seven years old and I wanted him to love me like the dad I was ripped away from but it never happened. Although he was very kind to me and treated me well, he also avoided me to appease my mother. I know that now. I was never to be his, no matter what.
Because of that strained relationship, I had a very hard time believing that I could ever belong to a good father-like God. Especially, a God who could possibly be accepting of me. So, when God came towards me I rejected Him and His people immediately. I learned well from my dad. 

 So, what does this have to do with my journey with Carson? 
Well, the dad I was stolen from was a man of prayer and religion. He believed in God. The man I was then raised with was the polar opposite.
He didn't believe in a god and the church, to him, was full of mindless idiots. He thought all clergy were crooked, people-pleasing, perverts hiding behind a fictitious being. I'm putting it nicely but in his defense, he wasn't wrong. There are such clergies. I've met them.
I just wish that we had connected sooner so he could have seen the other clergies I've had the pleasure of meeting. Clergies who really did love God. A living God. Jesus.

Anyways, as I journeyed as a Carsonite and spoke to several "godly" and churched people at rallies and booths and through phone calls, I realized that a lot of these self proclaimed "Christians" were just as atheist as my dad.
They claimed to believe in the biblical God but when it came time to stand on that biblical God and trust His written word -- He didn't exist.

Was my dad right? DOES GOD NOT EXIST? Is He a fictitious being?

I will admit that I was quite shocked to hear from several professing Christians (especially the "seasoned") that "Carson will never win because the world is too evil. He's too nice of a guy. He's too good."
And then some Christians would say "His life story is too unbelievable."

Repeatedly I would hear the same responses from Christians and I couldn't help but wonder -- did they not read their Bible where in Romans 12:21 it says...

 "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."

Or the parts EVERYWHERE in their Bibles that say...

With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” ~ Matthew 19:26

This incident was one of MANY eye-opening moments for me during this journey. Talking to people about their faith in God and then hearing them speak on politics was jarring. Especially from the "seasoned" Christians.

No wonder my generation denies God and reduces Jesus Christ down to a secular "homeboy" who loves public sinfulness. My poor generation was seasoned with these "Christians". Yikes.     

When God put it in my heart to support Carson it was only a month after my dad died and I was still in a place of grief but God was adamant that Carson was my next step. The lesson I learned in this journey was that God was right to have me raised by an atheist dad. He had a legitimate reason.

It was hard to be ripped away from a dad that accepted me as his but to see what I now see amongst God's church is that there are a lot of atheists in the church body. They read their Bible but don't believe a word of it. It's amazing and not in a good way.
God's people have just grown so weary of waiting on Him. So weary, in fact, that they will now seek their own understanding through a human that will speak whatever words they want to hear. Words that give them instant gratification but will suffocate the livelihood of future generations. They know it BUT they don't care because they're scared. Lord, help us.

Unashamedly donning Carsonite gear :)

At my Washington State caucus I was greeted by an older woman in tears who grabbed me and hugged me before I could say a word. I was the only person wearing my candidate gear unashamed. Through her tears she said: 
"we don't deserve him. We, as a country, don't deserve God's blessings. We have abandoned Him and Carson is such a good man. If he gets in office I don't think he'll be able to turn us around because our people are evil and God will give us over to what we want."

That lady was the most honest and repentant Christian I had met on this journey. She was scared for her children and grandchildren. I told her that that is EXACTLY why Carson entered this race. We are a generation walking to our own destruction. A destructive path we created and will continue in if we don't TURN AROUND.
"IF" we... then God will. God NEVER forces His will.

I first heard of Christianity from someone who was calling me a "child of the devil" in 1997. Then I  discovered the "land of Christianity" in 2009 and began exploring it in 2010 but I didn't claim land until 2012 and OH....MY...GOODNESS...... I have a long way to go and a lot of land to cover. There is so much to learn about God's people and why I have been called to join such a messy group. Am I getting closer to my purpose? Absolutely!
The people of God and their politics are something else and, unfortunately, they ain't walking towards the biblical God. Plainly, they are walking FAR AWAY from what Jesus died for.