When the devil's move is obvious

Have you ever gotten into a fight with someone and in the midst of the fight, out of nowhere, your adversary attacks you in a way that you know -- that you KNOW -- they have come to a place of desperation because they're losing ground and they don't know what else to do but make stuff up???
And right when you thought that they were winning the fight and you were growing weary, all of a sudden you gain a burst of energy and strength and you can't help but bust up LAUGHING...?
BUT... not just any old laugh though; ohhh, no... it's a bust-a-gut-laugh-out-loud-utter-relief laugh in knowing that you were just being hit by an inflatable kiddie bat?
You know the annoying ones you win at the fair and it squeaks when it makes contact with it's target? Yeah, those ones.

Well, several weeks ago I was feeling like a complete failure and wondering if I'm really hearing God correctly in my decisions. Decisions that make no sense to me and where I felt like I was walking in the dark with only a voice directing me. I was struggling to separate His voice from my own and doubting my closeness to Him. Where is He!?

Then all of a sudden I see a light of Hope.

“I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life.” ~John 8:12

When I first decided to be a follower of Jesus Christ I was NEVER warned that I had also entered into a spiritual war. And that this war between good and evil, right and wrong, light and darkness has existed since the beginning of mankind.
This war happens on a DAILY BASIS and most people have no idea that they're involved in it no matter if they believe in a god or not.
Those who are made aware have a choice to fight or die. Sounds dramatic, huh? It is.

We have a REAL enemy out there that hates us and will do anything, in his (limited) power, to take us out of our God-given purpose. His job is to make our lives a living hell through deceitful lies planted in our minds.     

Well, it has taken me several years in my walk to REALLY recognize this enemy.
He has several names: Lucifer, Satan, father of Lies, etc.... you get the idea.
I call him the devil and I have, for the most part, chosen to ignore him.

I never wanted to give him any credit or acknowledge him in any way just in case God was testing my faith or disciplining me for being self centered. 

Well, this time I will give credit where credit is due because he must be getting desperate for my attention to recognize his presence and give him some acknowledgement.

Okay then... hello stupid!

"I keep my eyes always on the LORD..." ~Psalm 16:8

Wow...really!!!?

That was my exact thought when I opened my email that morning to receive my daily devotions.

I couldn't help but bust out in laughter because over a year ago I would've fallen straight in the hole of darkness I have been scraping to come out of.

You see, I had NEVER in my over 25 years of having an email account gotten anything so blatantly pornographic. Ever! In almost 3 decades!
Even when I was not following Christ and living in that lifestyle did I even receive any porn.
I've got great filters for this junk but somehow it got through for the first time ever and (I believe) that because God knew this day was going to come, at this very difficult season in my life where I'm left very vulnerable to sexual sin, He made sure I was protected in every possible way with His word and His people.

For the past 2 years I've sat in a room to learn about sexual purity and relational wholeness and for the first time ever I felt the need to ask my group to hold me accountable for porn and masturbation every week since my husband and I were abstaining from sex until we went through counseling.

This would be, for me, the first time in my life that I would walk out sexual purity. It was really strange because my first memory in life was sexual. Sexual immorality was very normalized for me. I recognize it fairly quickly.

Purity is what's foriegn to me. I had to learn about purity.

And then what made me laugh even more was the scripture that Christine had right below them. Psalm 16 is all about the hope of the faithful and the Messiah's victory.

It's all about our victory in Jesus. 

That morning I laid there after a few minutes laughing and just felt the joy of the Lord pour His salve on my heart. He was SO near and because of Him...

I survived this battle.

Psalm 16 (NKJV)

1 Preserve me, O God, for in You I put my trust. 
² O my soul, you have said to the Lord,

“You are my Lord,
My goodness is nothing apart from You.”
³ As for the saints who are on the earth,
“They are the excellent ones, in whom is all my delight.”

⁴ Their sorrows shall be multiplied who hasten after another god;
Their drink offerings of blood I will not offer,
Nor take up their names on my lips.

⁵ O Lord, You are the portion of my inheritance and my cup;
You maintain my lot.
⁶ The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places;
Yes, I have a good inheritance.

⁷ I will bless the Lord who has given me counsel;
My heart also instructs me in the night seasons.
⁸ I have set the Lord always before me;
Because He is at my right hand I shall not be moved.

⁹ Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoices;
My flesh also will rest in hope.
¹⁰ For You will not leave my soul in Sheol,
Nor will You allow Your Holy One to see corruption.
¹¹ You will show me the path of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

Lets Address: Fear, Porn, People and Jesus

This past Tuesday I felt a gnawing inner prompting to finally come out and share what Jesus was doing in my life and how He was just flowing Himself out of my YUCKY past and so with MUCH PRAYER and a LOT of sleepless nights --- to Facebook I went:

Well, after sharing my journey I felt so much freedom and peace. Awww... I could finally breath.
However, after about 2-3 hours I was hit with a "HOLY CRAP! WHAT DID I JUST DO!?" moment.

Oh, how quickly the enemy attacked me in full force as he brought to mind all the family members that are on my list and the hurt I would cause by such a public admission.

• My parents (who didn't know where I was for several years), 
• My siblings (some who knew where I was but never asked questions), 
• And church members that have sat in groups with me but have never heard this part of my past. 

But in all honesty, I had forgotten about it. Jesus was making me a new person. Why talk about such trash? Especially when Jesus was offering me a new and better life?

It is my belief that the most important reason why God placed it on my heart to be so open and transparent is because His children (the ones that call themselves "Christian" a.k.a. followers of Jesus Christ) are being led astray to believing that the porn flic "50 Shades of Grey" is just a movie. And not just a "provocative and disturbing movie" as proudly promoted by Christ-professing athlete Russell Wilson But a pornographic movie that can also bring "ALIVE" a dying and boring relationship. What??? Seriously?!!
So, let me get this straight:
A mainstream porn focused on bondage and sexual torture brings forth "life"???Are you kidding me?!! Noooooooooooo!!!! 
I'm newer to the Christian faith and even I'm not that dumb. Come on! Children of the Living God, followers of Jesus Christ -- you KNOW better!!! Do NOT be deceived!!!
Didn't Jesus already pay the ultimate price for your freedom? Why choose to be bound again???

Oh, how much the Father must be mourning. I know He wants His kids to KNOW that they are watching and filling their hearts and minds with evil lusts that will only bring them destruction and DEATH. That is what awaits them.
Did we learn nothing from the Israelites?? We, like them, will gain nothing but suffering for our blatant disobedience.

We ALL know this from the THOUSANDS of people that have suffered at the hands of  sexual abusers and delusional "fantasy seekers".
Sex-trafficking is a huge cash cow. Child porn and rape are both on the rise and it's because of pornographic films like these. But, unfortunately, the people that God has called to be His hands and feet in situations like these are too busy trying to glorify themselves and using their God-given platforms to promote sin. How sad! So very sad!
I've met Russell Wilson several times and I'm SO saddened by his confession and promotion of this pornography. Especially, when he also confesses Jesus Christ.
"Does a spring send forth fresh water and bitter from the same opening? No!" - James 3:11
 
No! I don't have time for fear! I don't have time to appease people in their sin. It's time to love my neighbors enough to say "BROTHERS AND SISTERS, IN CHRIST, YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY!!! TURN AROUND!!! GOD LOVES YOU!!!". 

So, after days of being tormented about how people will see me, I've come to the conclusion that because of Jesus it really doesn't matter. I refuse to hide Jesus' redemptive work due to fearing people! I don't have room to care about their judgements. I only have room to care about people coming to know the REAL JESUS.

I want people to be free in Jesus. I want people to love themselves enough to love others PROPERLY. I want people to not be bound to addictions. Most importantly I want people to SEEK JESUS in breaking generational curses. Children should not be burdened by their parent's sinful choices and the curses that follow. Children need JOY! THEY NEED JESUS!!!

I refuse to continue hiding due to fear  because I love people and the God that created them.

If I call myself a follower of Jesus Christ then I am His disciple and as His disciple I honor Him with surrendering my WHOLE LIFE. My past, present, and future. NO MATTER THE COST!!!
People, family, and friends will come and go but JESUS IS FOREVER!!!

Luke 14:26
²⁶ “Anyone who wants to be My follower must love Me far more than he does his own father, mother, wife, children, brothers, or sisters—yes, more than his own life—otherwise he cannot be My disciple."