The "Madonna Room"

This Mother's Day I got up early and was preparing to get ready for church as always and for some odd reason something didn't "feel" right. I was doing my usual routine of prepping and I noticed that I had gotten into a habit. My habit (although, not a bad thing) had become -- church.

I was then reminded of my dad and the concern he had for me when I told him that I had converted to Christianity.
His concern was that I would try to fit into what ever church environment that I was a part of and not think for myself on "why" I was there. That I would forget Who I was following instead follow whatever pastor I was listening to. He never wanted me to follow someone or something without thinking about my why. As a professing atheist, he even encouraged me to question his beliefs. And I did.

So today, as a mother and a follower of Jesus Christ, I took my kids on a journey to rediscover my WHY and to teach them to think about their own "WHY" of faith.
Like my dad, I want my kids to think for themselves and have a belief of God that is their own. Not manipulated by me, their father, or their surroundings.

Today I took them to a place where I spent a lot of time at as a teenager trying to understand why I was still alive. I call it the Madonna Room.

There is no longer a sculpture of Madonna and child. It's been removed but I still remember it.

 

 

The last time I was here it was when I had just met Paul in 2000 and I wanted him to see the Madonna Room because it was a place where I would go to do my homework or just think. I don't know if I ever prayed in there as a teen because I didn't know who God was but I just loved the view. 

It had been almost 18 years since I had last been in the Madonna Room and it has changed a lot. 

It has been modernized and the statue of Madonna with child is now gone having been replaced by Mary and Jesus. The seating has also been changed from benches to plush chairs. However, no matter what changes they've done, I have always loved the view. It's absolutely beautiful.

If people could only see in this one photo all that I see. It's a view of my life.

As I stood in the Madonna Room looking out into the beauty of all that I had seen before, I couldn't help but see all that God had done in my life and all that He had brought me through. My children rarely ever see me get emotional to the point of tears but as I stood in that room, I was reminded of all the times I would come to that room to do my homework because it was dry and it gave me a safe place to work and think... I couldn't help but cry. The LORD has brought me a LONG WAY.

As I saw my children enjoy the view and take in all that I had seen years earlier as a teenager I could not help but be brought to tears. He has been so faithful to me and I know that He will be faithful to my children because He loves them more than I do. What more does a mother need? 

I don't think I have ever prayed in this Madonna Room but today I did. I thanked God.

 "In the fear of the Lord there is strong confidence,and His children will have a place of refuge." ~Proverbs 14:26